May 29, 2010

Mini-Blog: Bad, Worse, and Worst

First of many things: despite popular belief, "worser" is not a word. Yeah, I've heard people seriously say that.

Bad: Getting hit in the eye with a tennis ball when you're not even on the court.

Worse: Getting a black eye from the aforementioned hit.

Worst: Having the bruise turn into a black eye the morning of your middle school graduation, AKA, the hugest picture day of the year.

May 25, 2010

LOST Series Finale

I watch the first three seasons of LOST, then was overwhelmed by the confusing storyline. I couldn't even think it through to find out what was going on, because ever since the pilot, I knew that nothing would ever make sense. I mean, Locke's lower-body paralysis was reversed by crashing on a beach? Impossible. This showed, of course, that nothing else in the show had to be logical or possible.

Anyway, I watched that series finale after having been caught up through tv shows, articles, and videos like, "LOST in 3 minutes." Now, I'd like to discuss it with you.

First off, there were way too many commercials. About and hour and a half of the two and a half hour episode were commercials. Also, I think it raised more questions than it answered. Here's a list of questions answered by the finale:

1. What's up with Smoky.
2. How the alternate universe combines with the other universe.

Questions raised:

1. What's with the glow-y light in the water-y cave.
2. How the Smoke Monster came to be.
3. What "rules" held Smoky on the island.
4. Is this show to be considered fantasy/sci-fi?
5. Why did Jack get a bloody neck at the same time that Alternate Universe Jack got a bloody neck. That didn't happen to anyone else, and it was never brought up again.
6. What happened to Walt and his dad??? They weren't in either universes, but their dog was!
7. Is the Alternate Universe some kind of heaven?
8. The Alternate Universe people could remember the Universe people, but why couldn't the Universe people remember the Alternate Universe people?
9. How is Christian Shepard alive in the Alternate Universe?
10. Do they really think that they can pass this off as an acceptable end to a crazy show like LOST?

This series finale gets the "Worst Finale Ever" award.


Your Dissatisfied Blogger,

May 21, 2010

Whole Nine Yards

I'd like to explain something of extreme importance to the populace.

Nine yards is nine yards.

Do you get it?

It is always the whole nine yards, because otherwise, it wouldn't be nine yards at all. It would be 28 feet. Or 4 centimeters.

I'm really not sure what people are going for when they say the "whole" nine yards. Are we expected to walk three feet and announce that we did not walk the whole nine yards, but one third of it? I wonder if for our entire lives, Little Yard Elves are just waiting for us to walk a whole nine yards, not just a fraction of that, or double nine yards, but exactly nine yards. Is every step we take measured in terms of Nine Yards? DO WE LIVE FOR THE WHOLE NINE YARDS???

No. Probably not.

Well, not sure what that was about, but I think I'll go now.

See ya,

P.S. Just...stop saying the "whole nine yards." It's just redundant.

May 18, 2010

Fun Things To Do On A Plane

Spring break recently ended for me, and I took a few planes. While on these planes, I couldn't think of anything to do (I quickly finished Peace, Love, And Baby Ducks) and it sucked (not the book, that was great, I'm saying the boredom sucked). Now, being my awesome, selfless self, I will save you the agony just in time for summer and create...wait for it...A LIST!

Fun Things To Do On A Plane

1. If you're sitting next to a stranger, start arguing with yourself, pretending to be schizophrenic. I actually used this one, and it was entertaining. Here's the conversation I used to freak out the old woman next to me.
Nadia: (Hitting 'Next' on her iPod) Ooh, I love this song!
Nadia: (As Personality #2) Are you kidding me? This band is terrible.
Nadia: Cynthia, you don't know what you're talking about. This band is classic!
Nadia: (As Personality #2) Nadia, you're crazy if you like this stuff.
Nadia: Well, if I'm crazy, you're crazy. We're in the same head here! stuff.

2. Pretend like you're the one flying the plane. Example:
Nadia: *Exploding noise* This is flight 968 to Air Traffic Control Tower 10, how's the turbulence ahead looking. *Pretends to listen intently with finger pressed to ear* I hear you loud and clear. *Brings hand to mouth* Hello passengers flying to Chicago, looks like we'll be experiencing some turbulence, nothing to be afraid of, just keep your seat belts on. *Begins making wide veer-like movements.* No! Don't fail on my now! We can do this, Plane-y, we can do this! Come on! *Flight attendant walks over with forced smile*
Flight Attendant: Would you shut up now?
Nadia: Not now, Lucy! I've got a plane full of people to save. *Yanks invisible steering wheel*
Flight Attendant: Miss--.
Nadia: Don't you get it?! Not! Now! *Shaking movements*
Flight Attendant: Stop it or you get no peanuts.
Nadia: What? *Squeaky voice, eyes wide, mouth hanging open in bewilderment at this cruel, sick, twisted lady.*
(Seriously, if there were no peanuts, would people even fly?)

3. Hover over the sleeping man next to you with a freakish face, arms held high, hands curled into claw-things. Stay like this until (s)he wakes and falls out of chair/shrieks with fright. If flight attendant comes to investigate the shriek, pretend to be asleep. If you need motivation to fake-sleep, then pretend like you're reading To Kill A Mockingbird. Works, doesn't it?

So, let me know how that works out for you. Have any other ideas? Let me know!

Your Blogger That You Might Not Want To Fall Asleep On A Plane Next To,