September 17, 2010

Why In the World Do They Speak Like That?

A couple days ago, my friends and I were in the courtyard, sitting along a wall. A few inches from me, also on the wall, were a bunch of football players. (And do go thinking, "Ooh!" because they are wildly unintelligent, not even attractive, and as you will soon learn, gross.)

As I am permanently out of the loop, I was quiet, eating my salad, when I heard them speak. Well, my first thought was, Is that them trying to talk? Of course, I didn't recognize the gurgling noises they were making, then I realized--they're just speaking with pounds of food in their mouth!

I kept listening and found that they were physically incapable of speaking unless their mouths were full of food. Every single time they spoke. Every single time, another boy would ask, "Whab yf skhlay?" and every time, they would speak grossly. (That's a word, right?)

But more important than the observation is the REASON! Do you think Newton published his findings in one sentence that read, "Things fall down"? No. I don't think so. And seeing as I have to start my insanely difficult science fair project next month, I guess I should start practicing.

Ok, my hypothesis: Because they want to talk, but they want food more, so they decide not to waste any time by multi-tasking; speaking WHILE eating!

Conclusion: I am right. What other reason could there possibly be for them to do such a thing?

Your Scientific Blogger,


Tesnim said...

Hey, Nadia wow I didn't know that you still have this blog! Well it's still as funny as ever! Also I have no idea why football players do that, maybe it's some unwritten law that if you're a football player you have to act disgusting. Well I dunno. See you later.

brave chickens said...

Oh lord! That is trés dégoûtant.