April 18, 2011

Why Don't Tongues Get Tired?

I run a mile--

HA! says the malicious reader.

Fine, I run a hypothetical mile.

Not even in your nightmares.

OK! I run the length of a football field and my legs start to feel tired. I pick up my million ton backpack--Anything to say, reader?

No, even I know that your backpack is monstrous.

You would know about monstrous. BURN. Anywhom, then my arms get tired.

So how come if we talk for hours, our tongues never get tired? Our tongues are muscles, and we have feeling in them, and we use them so often, that it must get sore sometime.

Then again, because we use it so often, maybe it's just incredibly muscly. Does that mean that a mute person's tongue would feel sore after a bunch of tongue-anaerobics? Don't look at me like that, it makes complete sense.

Even so, every muscle gets tired eventually. Everyone, your homework is to do a few push ups with your tongue. Report back. I'm sure my hypothesis will hold.

Your Overthinking Blogger,

April 15, 2011

New SparkLife Post: My Syria

So I'm Syrian American, and what with everything happening in Syria--Oh, you don't know what's happening?

Then you should go here to learn about it from the perspective of a Syrian American. Can you guess the author?

From Your Writer,

April 03, 2011

Innovators Are Strange

When I say innovators, I don't mean the engineers that build cars or anything. I mean the first people to ever do a certain thing.

Think about it. Who in the world first said, "Hey, let's tug at a cow and drink whatever fluids come out of them!"

Who decided to put little seeds into a the ground, and consume whatever sprouted upward?

Who said, "Let's throw some rocks into a fire!" to make plaster?

I have an answer. Time travelers.

In the future, they said, "This whole hunting-gathering thing sucks. I don't even have a home. This is world's only permanent settlement. But hey, we have these things we're calling se-ads in the basement. Maybe if we starting implanting them into the ground a few thousand years ago, we could have large groupings of people!"
Then the other guy says, "Yeah! Good idea! Hop into the time machine I made while mooching food off the rest of the group."

And so agriculture began.

Without agriculture, there could never have been time machines, says the infamous reader.

LIES! Well, fine, if you won't accept that, then aliens, says I.

Aliens were just ahead of us, so they came over and did us a favor. They're hoping that now that we're indebted to them, we can do them a favor later, like, you know, sacrificing our planet to them.

Don't look at me like that. It's completely plausible.

Your Clearly Sane Blogger,