Leprechaun Boy

I am 99% sure that one 6th grader at my school is a leprechaun.

First of all, let's list the traits of a leprechaun:
-Red Hair
-Superhuman hearing
-Superhuman eyesight
-Small
-Short
-Irish
-Creeeeeeeeeepy

This kid has all of the above. Except for the Irish part, as far as I know.

"Okay, how could you possibly know that he has 'superhuman' senses, huh?" says that reader I thought I had gotten rid of.

*Death Stare*

Well, I said to my friend "Hey, who does he remind you of?" and then the Leprechaun Boy turned around (we were talking about him) and double-raised his eye brows at me (which proves the creeeeeeeeepy part). He was thirty feet from me! I was whispering! The hall was filled with the hustle and bustle of people, all fighting to get to their lockers, and somehow, above the sound of teacers yelling at students to get to class, he heard my quiet whisper to my friend, from down the hall. Superhuman hearing all the way!

Instance of superhuman eyesight: my friend has never met Leprachaun Boy. However, one day she was holding her lunch box which had her name on it in small letters, and his telescope eyes (have you ever heard that songby Eisly? It's good but sad.) zoned in on the itty bitty words on her lunch box and he said, "Hey, [insert her name here]!" Also creeeeeeepy.

And the short thing! He once passed me, and I know that sixth graders are small, but Leprechaun Boy barely reaches my elbow! And I'm only 5"1'!

His hair is red enough to wake you up as you go into school, even on a Monday!

With all this evidence, he's got to be a leprechaun! Do you believe me?