October 05, 2009

Hamburger Helper Hand

Do you guys know that one misshapen clay talking hand that pops up in the backs of people's cars and forces them to consume his food? Yeah, well I'm a bit terrified of that hand.

I mean, who knows! It might come out of your pantry, where you store your boxes of Hamburger Helper stuff, make its way upstairs as you sleep, and kill you with kitchen knives!!! On top of that, it teleports! That thing can grab your arm and telepeort you both to Mars! While this would be great for NASA, you would die unless, of course, you like to walk around in a pressurized suit, complete with oxygen tank. And you know what else? The Hamburger Helper Hand can't even die, 'cause it's made of clay!

As if it could get any worse, the food could easily be poisoned by him. And frankly, the Hamburger Helper food isn't even that good.

Is that rational?

Your Irrationally Frightened Friend,

No comments: