March 07, 2011

Diary of a Freshman: The Origin of All Drama

My year has been wonderfully devoid of any drama. It's heaven.

However, after talking to some of my friends about it, it seems that this isn't really a universal thing. (Sorry, readers!)

As I reviewed my year in my head and my peers shared their Drama Diaries, I found a common denominator in every situation--boys.

No, I don't mean that if anyone with a Y chromosome waves at you in the hallway you should run screaming to the hills, I'm just saying every story has been, "Boyfriend did this," "Ex-Boyfriend said that," and "I let it slip that A likes B."

So why don't I have these problems?

"Because no one likes you and you're destined for spinsterhood?" says that très penible reader.


Because I have perspective. How does this work? Well, you see...

Perspective > Seeing things clearly > Realizing that you know no one worthy of your romantic time > Not dating > No drama!

That, and I'm Muslim.

But remember--this doesn't mean I have any less of a high school experience or anything. Quite the contrary; I get to look back at high school and think, "Wow, I had so much fun with all my various friends!" Others can think, "Wow, I never realized how many Ben & Jerry's cartons I finished, how many hours I spent by the phone, and how many idiots I wasted time on."

Theory of Freshman Culture, Behavior, and Interaction #4: Social drama and strife is commonly caused by romantic relationships, endeavors, and situations.

Don't get me wrong, though--I'm not recommending that no one ever date. I'm just reporting my observations. If you decide to go all Lonely Hearts Club on it, be my guest. If you do date, be prepared for possible drama.

Your Drama-Free Blogger,

1 comment:

Emily said...

This is so true. You're really smart to realize this. The freshmen at my school are so slutty that it's depressing.

Though I have to disagree with one thing: there is absolutely nothing wrong with finishing an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's in one day. At least, that's what I tell myself.