March 09, 2011


If you celebrate half-birthdays, then does that mean that on full birthdays you have to use twice as many candles, one for each half-year you've lived? You would need a huge cake just to fit all the candles by the time you turn ten. If you have a huge cake, you'll need a large number of people to eat that cake. Then again, if you have two birthday parties a year, then they become less important, meaning that less people will feel obligated to attend.

Well, at least the local fire squad will attend. What happens when you're eighty and have no breath left to blow out 160 candles?

If you start celebrating your half-birthdays, are you required to celebrate every half-birthday for the rest of your life, or do you just have to acknowledge that they exist through your candles.

Maybe instead of having a candle for each half-birthday, you could just have half a candle for each half-birthday. You would just have to break a lot of candles.

Or you could be sane and efficient and just celebrate your birthday once a year.

Nah. That makes too much sense.

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