May 18, 2010

Fun Things To Do On A Plane

Spring break recently ended for me, and I took a few planes. While on these planes, I couldn't think of anything to do (I quickly finished Peace, Love, And Baby Ducks) and it sucked (not the book, that was great, I'm saying the boredom sucked). Now, being my awesome, selfless self, I will save you the agony just in time for summer and create...wait for it...A LIST!

Fun Things To Do On A Plane

1. If you're sitting next to a stranger, start arguing with yourself, pretending to be schizophrenic. I actually used this one, and it was entertaining. Here's the conversation I used to freak out the old woman next to me.
Nadia: (Hitting 'Next' on her iPod) Ooh, I love this song!
Nadia: (As Personality #2) Are you kidding me? This band is terrible.
Nadia: Cynthia, you don't know what you're talking about. This band is classic!
Nadia: (As Personality #2) Nadia, you're crazy if you like this stuff.
Nadia: Well, if I'm crazy, you're crazy. We're in the same head here! stuff.

2. Pretend like you're the one flying the plane. Example:
Nadia: *Exploding noise* This is flight 968 to Air Traffic Control Tower 10, how's the turbulence ahead looking. *Pretends to listen intently with finger pressed to ear* I hear you loud and clear. *Brings hand to mouth* Hello passengers flying to Chicago, looks like we'll be experiencing some turbulence, nothing to be afraid of, just keep your seat belts on. *Begins making wide veer-like movements.* No! Don't fail on my now! We can do this, Plane-y, we can do this! Come on! *Flight attendant walks over with forced smile*
Flight Attendant: Would you shut up now?
Nadia: Not now, Lucy! I've got a plane full of people to save. *Yanks invisible steering wheel*
Flight Attendant: Miss--.
Nadia: Don't you get it?! Not! Now! *Shaking movements*
Flight Attendant: Stop it or you get no peanuts.
Nadia: What? *Squeaky voice, eyes wide, mouth hanging open in bewilderment at this cruel, sick, twisted lady.*
(Seriously, if there were no peanuts, would people even fly?)

3. Hover over the sleeping man next to you with a freakish face, arms held high, hands curled into claw-things. Stay like this until (s)he wakes and falls out of chair/shrieks with fright. If flight attendant comes to investigate the shriek, pretend to be asleep. If you need motivation to fake-sleep, then pretend like you're reading To Kill A Mockingbird. Works, doesn't it?

So, let me know how that works out for you. Have any other ideas? Let me know!

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