June 26, 2009

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

This Blog Post Is Dedicated To Michael Jackson, The King of Pop

As I'm sure many of you know, yesterday Michael Jackson died of a heart attack.

Whether or not you liked him, you have to aknowledge that he's... Well, Michael Jackson! King of Pop! He was--Nay, IS-- a huge musical influence in the world, and I regret his loss (a sentiment not shared by many others, I am sad to say). Let's have a moment of silence in respect of the dead.


Moment over.

Now, I must warn you that if you speak ill of the dead, they WILL haunt you. Do you really want that? Do you REALLY want the ghost of Michael Jackson to haunt you? Imagine that with me, please.

You'll wake up in the middle of the night to see the image of the translucent, floating King of Pop? Freaky, right? But as if that isn't enough, but you won't ever stop hearing "Thriller" and the characters of the music video will torment you in your dreams. You'll commonly see a flash of white out of the corner of your eye, whip your head in that direction, only to see that there is nothing there. You'll end up doing this about 1001 times, then you will promptly tell somebody about these hauntings because you think they can help, and whomever this is will promptly wrap you in a straight jacket and send you to a padded cell, from where you will never leave because, please! MJ won't let you off the hook that quickly! Then, boom! Before you know it, you'll have spent your life there, and have died singing "Billie Jean."

Yes, all that just because you wanted to make an MJ joke. It's not worth it. I promise. JUST DON'T MAKE THE JOKE! STAY ABOVE THE INFLUENCE!

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