February 12, 2009

Barrel of Monkeys

You know the term "as fun as a barrel of monkeys!" right? Well, how fun is a barrel of monkeys? Not. Fun. And I'll tell you why.

First of all, if is just a bunch of plastic monkeys in a mini plastic barrel, I don't see the fun. It's like, "Yay! I can link things! I'm not worthless!" A bit pathetic really. So if you can't link them together and put them in the barrel, I bet you feel like crap right now. If you are one of those people, I suggest you take down Lakeside Toys (the company that made them) to make you feel better. That is, if the economy hasn't gotten it first.

But if it's a straight up barrel of monkeys--like, and real barrels with real monkeys in it--it is NOT FUN. Actually, it's mega scary. Just think of it! There's a barrel with monkeys in it. It started to rock, because of the moving monkeys inside. Crazed chimp noises are emanating from within. The side of the barrel is coming off and breaking because of one of the monkeys is trying to break out. The other monkeys pitch in and help the other one make a large opening in the barrel's side. It works. Then, rabid monkey things come chasing after you and gouge out your eyes since they are angry at you for stuffing them in a cold barrel.

Now, does that sound fun to you?

I didn't think so.

So stop saying "As fun as a barrel of monkeys!" unless you're talking about High School Musical.
It really does make me want to gouge my eyes out, and the acting is scary.

Another thing: I don't think the monkeys appreciate being called benign, fun, cute little animals. If I were them, I'd want some credit for my rabid savageness. (Unless I was a lemur. They're adorable! How could I, a lemur, deny that?)

Leaping Lemur!

I love monkeys.

Not this, though:

That's scary AND dangerous, and while I usually applaud those things, I do not recommend stuffing mad, rabid chimps into a barrel.

Instead, how's about we all start saying, "As fun as Mario Kart," or "As fun as Candyland." Those are both some fun, old, unappreciated games, therefore they HAVE to work!

But dude, seriously, BE CAREFUL WITH MONKEYS! They're are the hippogriph equivalent, and I think we all remember how fast Buckbeak turned on Draco.

Your Grave Blogger,


Dahlia said...

Luckily, I never used that term (okay, I probably used it once).
And I don't think the horror of monkeys in a barrel is anywhere close to the massacre on the minds of the youth that is known as High School Musical. *cringes*

I love Mario Kart!!!

BookSnob said...

Leaping leamurs Nadia!
Seriously, the Department of Homeland Security ought to hire you to inform them of the growing threats made in China and sold in Walmart.

SimplyShy01 said...

So true, so true!

Oh, and yes the girls that I was talking about in my last post did actually fight, but they used books and other items as weapons against each other. But the fight didn't go on for long.

Have a nice day :)!

P.S. My verificatin code is 'fulasted.' It sounds like a vocabulary word that my English class will have someday.