December 11, 2010

A Little Pick-Me-Up

If ever you're feeling a bit unimportant, stop for a moment. What are you doing? Yes, that's right, breathing.

Do you know what breathing is? Exhaling carbon dioxide (and 10% of that breath is oxygen, just so you know). By doing that, you are providing fuel to trees, thereby saving rain forests. By saving rain forests, you help decrease greenhouse gasses.

What? What's that? No. My logic is fool-proof.

If you obstinate readers out there disagree, then how about this: by breathing you contribute to greenhouse gasses, effectively killing the Earth. That's important. Now you're important. So, if you've chosen this method of being important, feel free to crawl under a rock and start hating yourself for creating this crappy weather. Really. Today was 50 degrees, and Sunday's a snowstorm. The first snow fell in late November. Like, what's with that? How could you do this to me? I thought we were friends!

But that's not what I picked. I save rain forests. I'm special and important. That's why the forest fairies love me. They'll do anything I tell them to. I'm in control.

Your Blogger,

P.S. Uh, was that weird? It seems that people are telling me I'm a bit strange more and more now. I'll take this as a good thing, because who wants to be normal? Normal is boring. Anywho, feel free to chalk the strangeness of this post to my brain being fried. It was a five day week, full of tangents and sines and cosines and skeletons and other things that make my brain go RugHUMPHdilliPLOPerschnigel.

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