April 21, 2009

Aliens And Answers

Have you ever wondered if the other guy in the elevator is actually an alien? Maybe not, but if you have then here's how you know by just what they say.

Here are some lines aliens are likely to say in an elevator conversation.

ALIEN: So...the sky is blue today.
HUMAN: It always is.
ALIEN: I know that. It's always blue. Very reliable...just like your--our military system. (Sneaks a peek at HUMAN.)
HUMAN: Yeah, I guess we can rely on them to protect and stuff....
ALIEN: Quiz: can they stop body snatchers?
HUMAN: What? Body snatch--

And boom. Your body has been snatched.

BE CAREFUL! Also, run if you see someone with these alien-like features:
-Green Skin
-Has a watch and keeps says, "Mother Ship" into it.

If you're not sure whether your friend's body has been snatched or not, check for these things:
-Conversations like the one above
-You notice your friends stuffing bodies into his or her storage area
-(S)he takes a sudden liking to oatmeal....but only the flakes.

You may all want to keep your body-snatched friends, maybe as pets. It's weird that you want to do this, because your friend is effectively dead. No, she is no longer there. The alien just looks like her. But whatever, if you want to make a classic movie mistake, that's up to you.

And I'll tell you how to!

You have three options.

1. You, as I said, keep him/her in a shed and keep 'em as your pet.

2. You can let them snatch your body too, but then her body would be hanging out, so I don't know why'd you do that. Like I said, classic movie mistake.

3. Snatch the body back, then leave it for your friend to reclaim. This is the only one that makes sense to me, and the hardest. Don't ask me how to do it though, 'cause I'm still fuzzy on the details. It's been years since I've had to deal with an Alien Invasion! How am I supposed to remember?!

Good luck with the invasion!

Your BEDA Blogger,

P.S. If this lacked awesome, which I think it did, let this make it up to you. If you like random, irony, and British humor, you'll love this.

P.P.S. My science teacher says 'Folks' "Folks." Folks. SHE PRONOUNCES THE L! How weird is that??? I think she's an alien.

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