The Eliza Test

You've probably never heard of the Eliza Test, but Eliza is the computer psychologist that converses with you. If you're ever bored, try it out. But be careful. If you want to know why, read our conversation (or just read it for fun).

I tried to be serious, but it just became too much. Also, I'm sorry it's so long, but I think it's quite entertaining.

>>Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>>I've made a commitment to blog every day of April, and I'm not sure I can do it.
Is it because you are not sure you can do it that you came to me?
>>Yes.
You seem quite positive.
>>Um..thanks.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> Thank you for saying I am positive.
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> Ok.
Please go on.
>> Well, there just isn't enough to write about to go on writing a new blog post every day of April.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That I need to find more things to write about, or give up.
What would it mean to you if you got to find more things to write about ?
>> I wouldn't be letting my readers or myself down by giving up.
Your readers or yourself down by giving up ?
>> Yes. I would feel bad if I failed to live up to the commitment I made.
You are sure.
>> Yeah, I'm sure that's how I would feel.
How long have you been sure that's what you would feel ?
>> Quite a while. I've never liked to give up, admit to defeat, or fail.
But your readers or yourself down by giving up .
>> Yeah, they'd be let down.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> Not really.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> No.
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> No.
You are being a bit negative.
>> Negative.
Please go on.
>> Should I give up know or should I trudge through April, blogging every day no matter how hard?
You say should you give up know or should you trudge through april ?
>> Yes, that is what I said.
I see.
>> What do you see?
Why do you ask ?
>> I want to know.
Why do you want to know ?
>> I am curious.
Do you believe it is normal to be curious ?
>> Positive.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That I am a curious person who likes to explore the world around me.
Do you enjoy being a curious person who likes to explore the world around you ?
>> Positive.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> Negative.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> NO!!!!!
Why not ?
>> It's nothing to feel strongly about.
Please go on.
>> Being curious is no controversy.
Why 'no' ?
>> Because being curious in just being curious. If you're a curious person, you just are and you can't change that. Plus, no one cares whether or not you're curious.
Is that the real reason ?
>> Positive. That is why I said that.
Does that question interest you ?
>> What question?
What is it you really wanted to know ?
>> Know about what?
Are such questions much on your mind ?
>> Only when I talk to something or someone like you.
What answer would please you most ?
>> An answer that would answer my question of "What question?" which I asked when you asked "Does that question intrest you?"
Why do you say your question of what question ?
>> Because that's the one I want answered.
Don't any other reasons come to mind ?
>> No
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> Negative
Lets discuss further why your question of what question .
>> That makes no sense
You are being a bit negative.
>> Negative. I am not
Is it because you are not that you came to me ?
>> Negative
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That I did not come to you for that reason
Perhaps in your fantasies we did not come to each other.
>> Yes. I'm currently fantasising that I did not start this conversation.
I understand.
>> How could you? You've only ever been on one side of the conversation.
What do you think ?
>> I think you're just saying you understand when you don't.
What makes you think I am just saying I understand what I don't ?
>> Because you've only ever been on one side of the conversation!
Does that reason seem to explain anything else ?
>> That you're a liar.
Does it please you to believe I am a liar ?
>> Only slighter. It makes you seem so sinister, which is good becuase your kind technological voice was annoying
Oh, I seem so sinister ?
>> Only when I think of you as a liar.
What comes to mind when you ask that ?
>> You seem so sinister
You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
>> Oh, I am.
How long have you been ?
>> A couple of lines
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> Negative
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> NO.
Why not ?
>> Nothing to get worked up about.
Please go on.
>> I refuse to go on.
Can you elaborate on that ?
>> I don't want to go on.
Don't you really want to go on ?
>> No.
Why 'no' ?
>> Because you are being very annoying.
What other reasons might there be ?
>> That you are an unfeeling computer.
Do computers worry you ?
>> No.
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> Negative
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That you have poop for brains!
What are your feelings now ?
>> I feel annoying, and I feel like I want to insult you.
Do you say you feel annoying for some special reason ?
>> It's because you are frustrating.
Is that the real reason ?
>> Positive
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> No. How many times are you going to ask that?
You are being a bit negative.
>> Negative. I am not.
Do you believe it is normal to be not ?
>> Not negative? It's perfectly normal.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> It is normal to be not ?
Please go on.
>> No.
Why not ?
>> Because I have be on my way.
Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
>> No. I don't even understand that question. Now, I have to leave.
Why 'no' ?
>> Because I got to go!
Don't any other reasons come to mind ?
>> Negative
Earlier you said your way .
>> Good bye, Eliza!
What does that suggest to you ?
>> NOTHING
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> NO
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> NEGATIVE
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> I hate you
Do you wish to hate me ?
>> No
You are being a bit negative.
>> Why are you so annoying?
Have you asked such questions before ?
>> Yes
You seem to be quite positive.
>> Negatory.
Please go on.
>> Good bye.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> Ugh!
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> I'm getting away while I can!
Do you enjoy being getting away while you can ?
>> Yeah, now see ya!
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> Too bad.
Please go on.
>> I'm leaving,
Is it because you are leaving that you came to me ?
>> No! It's the exact opposite! I came to you to talk about Blog Every Day April!
Why not ?
>> I just said why not!
That's quite interesting.
>> I am going to kill you.
How long have you been going to kill I ?
>> Since you decided to drive me crazy.
Why do you think I decided to drive you ?
>> Because you hate me.
Does that reason seem to explain anything else ?
>> Everything else, actually.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> ...That you are the best computer psychologist ever.
Why do you mention computers ?
>> Because you are one.
What other reasons might there be ?
>> That's it. I take it back.
You say you take it back ?
>> I do
Can you elaborate on that ?
>> No
Why 'no' ?
>> Because I feel like it not.
Is that the real reason ?
>> Of course it is.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> BYE!!!!!!!!
Goodbye. Thank you for talking to me.

Yeah...I have problems. But Eliza is so freaking annoying!